Right now, I await the news on whether I've been accepted to graduate school. All signs point to the affirmative, but one never knows; in one reassuring correspondence, the professor at this university told me she didn't see any reason, given what she knew of my academic record, that I would be turned down. I did very well in undergraduate study, but I admit that I'm trepid, and probably unnecessarily so, when it comes to thinking of myself as someone capable of higher science.
After all, we're getting into some difficult, challenging material here--research--hypothesis and experiment design--and the mental skills required to pursue the research to a sound, academically-acceptable conclusion. I never dreamed of myself as a potential researcher, and that was probably out of that sinking fear that I sometimes get. Somehow or another, it always comes down to math. Ha! Self-doubt as a scientist equals self-doubt at mathematics. After all, I'm the guy who stares into space when asked to quickly convert some value in my head. I go off poking around for a calculator, or else some Brainiac from the Planet Krypton computes the figure before I can mutter the first befuddled, quizzical "uh".
But then again, I am a geek--a classic oddball computer-and-science-loving nerd. I can't disappoint the inhabitants of geekdom; I can't mar the reputation of all those claiming the moniker, who have traveled the technical and academically-bound road before me. I have a high standard to live up to. Who said geeks don't feel pressure!